Hellos, I'm Dave. Texan who loves everything.
Here you will find Supernatural, Pokemon, Disney, Animals, Video Games, Actors I'm in love with, and then just whatever else strikes my fancy.
Current obsession: Mass Effect.
I'm a crazy multi-shipper~
Trying to fill out my damn paper work (I have a due date, I’d like to get it DONE asap) and the website keeps going down. If it didn’t save all the stuff I entered 8|
I’ve listed over 15 doctors I’ve seen in the past two years. 3 hospitals. I don’t even know how many tests. I just need to put in one more doctor so I can move to the next part but then the site went NOPE and it’s not working now
When I stand (and ONLY when I stand, if I sit or even bend over it stops) it feels like warm water is going down the inside of my thigh. Not wet, just. Warm or even kind of hot and spreading out. I honestly thought I’d just pissed myself or something, that’s how intense it felt
But, nothing there. Not even redness or anything. It doesn’t hurt or anything it’s just really uncomfortable
Finally FINAALLY it feels like my medication is kicking in. It’s taking the edge off. Though I think I threw it up earlier was part of the problem.
Still dehydrated as hell though and my body just feels. Tired.
This is probably one of those times I should go to the ER. I need IV fluids. Will that happen? No I just get to be miserable and not be able to sit up while it feels like my leg is being set fire from the inside and breaking and my skin all over is burning
I’m dehydrated and every time I take a drink I get overwhelming nausea. My vertigo is put of fucking control if I move my head AT ALL
Urg I wanna go see Captain America but I feel so SO bad. I managed to draw for a while and was okayish? But I’ve been vomiting and my ankles are on fire and I just
I dunno. Maybe I’ll hop myself up on medication and try to go, it’s just sitting in a movie theater. I really wanna see it
I also really wanna pass outEdit: passing out wins. Gonna try again tomorrow
I get the point this is trying to make. But people do act this way towards me. I’ve had these things said to me.
I have chronic pain. I vomit all the time. My vision is messed up. I have (short term) memory loss. I’ve had cancer more than once and it’s likely I’m going to get it again. I can’t work. I can’t drive. I have to take medication just to get through the day. And literally this past WEEK I’ve had the above things said to me
That I need to stop taking my medication. It must be making me sick. That I’m in bed too much, that’s why I hurt. That I don’t try hard enough to get better. I’m LAZY. That I need to just move on from being sick like it’s a phase.
I only don’t like this kind of stuff cause it’s putting down physical illness to raise up another. Both are horrible. Both have ignorant people saying horrible shit to them that no one should ever have to hear. People don’t know how to deal with any kind of illness that LASTS. It makes them uncomfortable, they don’t understand it, and then stupid things are said. I don’t think it’s any excuse, but that’s what happens.
How is it already 2. I woke up at 9:30 and there’s just big space of NOTHINGNESS until I started messing with paperwork then made lunch.
This happens a lot though. I feel like I lose time. I thought it was noon just now
Though, yesterday I woke up and didn’t know where I was at first. Which was SO disorienting (and vomiting followed)
My brain needs to… Well I was gonna say slow down but I think that’s part of the problem
Oh well. I made my bed and worked on the paperwork now I’m gonna curl up with Mass Effect cause my legs are dying and I had to medicate
It’s bizarre that some people seem to have this incredibly misinformed attitude that it must be easy to have a chronic illness because you don’t ‘have’ to work or study and you ‘get’ to stay at home all day, when I think most chronic illness suffers would give almost anything to be able to have some semblance of a job.
SPEAKING OF WHICH…
chronic peeps I have a question for you - has anyone had experience applying for disability or social security with a chronic illness? I’m almost 22, have fibromyalgia/CFS/myriad of other shitty things, can’t work full time nevermind barely part time, am taking a leave of absence from college and am thinking about the world of financial support (particularly in MA)
I’d love to talk more / hear from you!
Sarah / goldenrodrunning
I’m working on applying for disability now (through social security, and I’ve barely started so I’m in no way an expert on this hopefully someone who has gone through the whole thing can talk to you!) and I’m 25. I got sick/started showing symptoms/was unable to work anymore when I was 23. I have a doctor who is willing to back me up and write me a letter to support me, I suggest you get a doctor to do that (Primary is good, or whoever you see the most. In my case they don’t know quite what I have so I don’t have one specialist and my pain clinic people told me to go to the primary) I have Central Pain Syndrome, unexplained tachycardia (they think POTS but), a bunch of crazy symptoms, and I keep getting Melanoma.
Chronic Pain is a rough one to get disability for, from what I’ve heard, despite it being so debilitating. So having doctors to back you up is important. I’ve barely begun the process but in TEXAS you apply, they evaluate you, you do more paper work, and then a decision is made and it can take a long while. And you may not get approved the first time. Seeing as you’re 22, you’ll have less requirements. They go up the older you were when you originally got sick/had to stop working or whatnot.
And to the FIRST post. This so much. I get this a lot. It’s not glamorous. I wish I didn’t have all this time. I’m jealous of a friend of mine who is barely home these days cause she has so much to. She’s out of the house. If someone offers to take me out of the house YES. PLEASE. If I can. I miss working, I miss routine. But no, I must have it good cause I’m in bed all the time.
Saw the doctor. She said she would write me a letter and completely back me up if need be for Disability. And told me how to apply. It’s gonna be a long process and my chances I don’t think are very high but. I dunno what else to do at this point
My concern is, I haven’t worked a lot. I was going to school and I am privileged enough from my parents I was able to just focus on school and not work at the same time. But then it took me a while to find a job, I was immature about my job with wal-mart (which sucked but some jobs just suck) and should have stuck it out longer than I did. Then the call center job, my boss told me to not come back until I got well cause I literally couldn’t sit in a chair all day and make phone calls cause my body started freaking out so bad. That was a couple years ago.
Considering my age now and when I first got sick, she said they’re likely to be more lenient on me as far as the things I have to have. We’ll see though. I’m glad this doctor is supportive, cause she’s not my normal primary (my primary just has a baby and is out till July) but she’s seen me before and she has read what the other doctor has said and seen my test results from other doctors and stuff.
I dunno. I’ve literally been tuning everything out with this game I’ve been playing. Otherwise I’m laying around in pain and that’s all I can think about. I’m in pain. And I feel like shit. I still have to medicate in order to play my game and I still hurt but it keeps me from focusing on it and I can’t see that be anything but a good thing.
I went to where Puck is taking riding lessons yesterday (if you saw my pictures) cause if someone offers to get me out of the house I’m like YES. PLEASE. unless I feel so bad I just can’t. But all I did was walk around some, was on my feet for maybe 45 minutes? I’m still exhausted. It’s like I can’t recharge.
And I’m still having a lot of chest pain but idk what to say about that. I’ve had so many EKGs and things done on my heart, everything looks fine. But then I get this deep horrible ache and feel like it’s harder to breathe. It seems to happen when I’m sitting up and if I lay down it’s better. It also feel like it’s more in my breast though than down in my chest. But I’ve had that looked at too (it’s still all red and swollen but no one knows why, shocker)
I’m rambling. I’m medicated and I’m rambling. I’m gonna just. IDK what I’m gonna do
I have had a shitty fucking day and it’s still pretty bad cause I’m having a flare so know what I’m gonna do?
What ever the hell I want
Translates to make another ME character to switch between and have cookies for dinner
Being told by my dad that I’m a burden and don’t contribute anything to the family, and I just need to get over being sick because it’s time to move on and stop being lazy cause at least I’m not dying
Is really not what I wanted to hear today
(via chronicallyalive) —
Glad I didn’t change my pain doctor appointment. They e-mailed me back like, WE DON’T DO DISABILITY. YOU NEED TO DISCUSS THAT WITH YOUR PRIMARY (then added that if I need ‘other’ options that I can talk to them. I’m not sure what that means I guess I’ll ask next time I see her) Least my Primary is in the same city as I am, so. Closer. And she has seen me go downhill from the beginning so. I’ll talk to her.
I’m so fuuhrjngklbg I keep thinking I must be in a flare but then it’s a long flare man. Just. Saw my legs off and let me sleep for the rest of my life so I don’t feel anything. That’s where I’m at.
Walking is getting more difficult and I’m getting weaker, yet I’m doing my exercises and I am trying so damn hard. I just. Urg.
I’m done with today. It’s 9:45 but I’m done
I’ve had my fill of snide remarks about my illness from my family for all of April in the last couple hours.