Maybe you should try plan "D" for Dumbass

Hellos, I'm Dave. Lady Texan who loves everything.

Here you will find Video Games, Supernatural, Pokemon, Disney, Animals, Actors I'm in love with, Super Heroes, and then just whatever else strikes my fancy.

I play Guild Wars 2! Hit me up if you wanna play. If you have game suggestions for me, go on and throw them my way. I'm always interested in new stuff!

I have massive love for: Final Fantasy 7, Bowser, Mass Effect, and Corpse Party

...Run, Rabbit, Run...

When my mom asks what I did today and I don’t want to say “nothing”…




It sort of bugs me the “What if we treated physical illness like mental illness!” graphics, because I have known enough people with chronic illness to know that we do, in fact, treat mental illness like physical chronic illness.

What people tend to think of are the short injuries or illnesses that have a story to them. They have a beginning: I caught a cold, a relative died. They have a middle: I feel like poo, I am grieving. They have an upswing, and an end: I am feeling better now.

People like that narrative. The time period may vary, but the plot is predictable. Chronic/mental illness is not a plot, it just is. There are good days, there are bad days, and on it goes. And after a while people start asking about the ending, what’s the epilogue? Where’s the inspiring bit where you overcome and kiss your love interest, are handed a medal, and everyone else gets to leave the theater? Spoiler alert, for many people it doesn’t come. And the audience hates that. “Have you tried eating raw goat’s cheese mixed with chia seeds for your asthma? That inhaler doesn’t seem to be doing much” “Sigh, I had to work overtime because Adam’s ‘not feeling well’ again. He only ever does that on my shift.” “I’m getting very tired of you just laying around all day. Just because you throw up every time you sit up is no reason to be lazy” “I wish I could lay around and sleep all day.” “Maybe you just like being sick”

And they try to invent endings “You smiled. You twitched you toe. You’re better now. Wait, why are you getting worse again?”

It’s not a physical illness thing. It’s not a mental illness thing. It’s an inability to cope with something that doesn’t fit expectations and being horrible as a result.

Summed up my thoughts exactly, any time I see those things. So much shit is said to me, for being chronically ill. Hell, even when I had cancer I got “Oh, that’s it? It’s just a spot you’ll be fine.”

And just like mental illness, you doing something for yourself negates it. Someone is depressed but they laugh and enjoy themselves? Must be better! You’re sick but you’re able to go to a movie or play a game? Well you must be all better!!!

tags → #forever sick 

It’s past four in the morning! How about a reminder your leg likes to catch on fire from the inside!!!

No. Body. I’m gonna. TGGBFHDSYB and I’m so fuckin tired too. I will give my leg away.

Barely not crying cause I took meds earlier. But FUCK my lower leg decided to explode. Over and over and I’m typing on my phone cause anything to keep my attention elsewhere I feel like i miveght pass out

tags → #forever sick 


I just got put on hold for 10 minutes cause my spot I was told was on hold for me, isn’t showing in the computer, so they told me they’d go check on it, then… CLICK

Bout had it with this office. If I don’t get called back by 5 (when they close) I’m sending another message to my actual neurologist. He got the appointment on hold for me in the first place, but now the office is acting like I’m making shit up

I have to rant about this

My insurance just went into effect. I had none during June. My Neurologist ordered an EMG for me, because he suspects I’ve got neuropathy in my leg, hence the pain. If I do, it’ll be a lead to go off, and even if I don’t it rules it out and we’ll go from there.

I tried in May, then tried again in June, to schedule the EMG. In may they said no because I didn’t have my new insurance information. Ok. I called back in June with my new info cause I had it, it just didn’t go into effect until July. He get’s as far as scheduling me then, suddenly is like, “Oh, sorry can’t do this. If we do, you’ll have to pay out of pocket.” Which I didn’t understand cause my insurance would be in effect by the time I had the actual appointment

So he says call back on the 2nd, you’ll be able to get this scheduled before August (when my neurologist follow up is), promise. Bye

I called back today. They tell me they can’t see me until August 6th. That is the day of my follow up with my neuro. So I say, okay, well can you reschedule my neuro appointment for after the EMG then? SURE. She comes back and is like

"He’s booked out until DECEMBER"

At BOTH locations. What the fuck? How. I’m not a new patient. I am in a shit ton of pain, I’ve been sick for three years, I cannot work, I am not going to just sit here and wait 6 months so he can go “Well that wasn’t it. I dunno” like my other doctors have. No. Fucking fix this.

She told me she was sending a message to her supervisor, cause she wasn’t able to do anything about it, but he might. He better. Cause seriously what the hell. I fucking TRIED. I have orders (ON PAPER) from my neuro that says he wants me back by August at the latest. Does that not account for anything?

Just. So sick of doctors

My leg is a thing I wish was not a thing

Getting so tired of this. I want to just sleep

Deep burning pain then sharp needle pricks on the skin. Nothing is helping and I’m just do full of nope

I’m still having that problem (it came back, with a vengeance. It hurts any time I pee and bleeds some, not like the first time though)  and dad was like, since you can’t get to a doctor there’s gotta be something you can put on it to keep it from getting infected and mom shrugged and goes



Ahahaha no

She said that more as a help with the pain suggestion. It’s not exactly in a spot that’s good for putting antibacterial anything on. Mom thinks it may be a Bartholin Gland Cyst and it is in the right place for it, so maybe that’s right. If it is tho, the fact it hurts means I probably need to see a doctor.

Been trying to get Dolphin (the emulator) to cooperate with FRAPS all day. Messing with settings and core affinities and blah. I can get it to run pretty smooth then all of a sudden it chops up. I’ll mess with it later though I’m getting tired of it.

My bright idea is to maybe play a Zelda game (Ocarina of Time is what I’d like to do) for a Blind Let’s Play. As I’ve never actually beaten a Zelda game before. I’m such a bad gamer Closest I’ve come was Wind Waker and that was YEAAAAAAAARS ago when it first game out. So that’s a maybe there.

I’m glad I recorded a few videos in one day cause my voice is gone this morning

IDK why

Not like I screamed or anything. I did have to talk louder cause LOUD MUSIC though. Now today I’m exhausted. But I had fun so eh.

Also my TMI ish problem seems to have gone down some? Still hurts but not as much and apparently not even a big bump anymore (still white though). I wonder if mom was right (she thought on it for a while then was like YOU KNOW WHAT IT MIGHT BE) and it was a cyst and it got popped SOMEHOW. Hopefully it’ll leave me alone

Putting this under a cut cause TMI I guess?

Read More

When close friends want to know what life is actually like with chronic illness…


I’m like…

tags → #forever sick 

My friend Puck came over and helped me clean and AHHHH IM SO HAPPY. It looks so nice and picked up and organized ;_; free of clutter. I’m so grateful she did this.

Now I gotta do my best to keep up with it. I think I can

I feel like fuck all now and my head is exploding but I have a clean space

me: the pill is going to kick in any moment..
august: *awaiting relief*
november: *awaiting relief*
2016: *awaiting relief*
2030: *awaiting relief*
2073: *awaiting relief*

I feel better than I did earlier today (aka my leg was dead and my uterus was trying to claw it’s way out). I am full of medication, that’s the only way I’m alive at the moment. I’m also full of pizza, cause dad is amazing and got spinach and mushroom white pizza along with stuffed cheese bread.

My leg still hurts pretty bad but I can stand on it and my uterus has completely chilled out for the time being.

Now I think since I can, I’m gonna finish a chapter of Ace Attorney then play either Chrono Trigger or Crisis Core, one of those

Possibly fall asleep because of all this medication

(Source: lymedig)

tags → #forever sick 

I feel like I’m dying but at least I was able to eat and Amazon says Tomodachi Life is gonna get here today that’d be a nice distraction

I couldn’t get out of bed earlier. That’s the point I’ve gotten to. It hurt so much. It’s receded a bit now but, knowing how this always goes, it’s going to slam me again soon and it’ll be worse. So I’ve taken two tramadol and four ibuprofen cause that’s all I can really do about it

I’m ready to just have my leg removed. I wish I was exaggerating or kidding, but it already feels like it’s trying to twist itself off, let’s just help it along

Oh and my arm has joined in on the “fun” since last night and it’s still going